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Old Hearts Break In Isolation

by LASTING TRACES

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1.
Lake Nowhere 03:59
Try to embrace the sky, I point my fingers up so high. These clouds are covering the mist across the water. I’m coming back, I’m coming home where the boys turned into men, where the blamed ones lost their innocence and started to be vain. Those times are gone for good, but they just feel a heartbeat away from now. One of these days where I just get lost in all these memories miles away. Again, I’m trying to escape from all what destiny is holding for me every day. Over and over and over, I’m painting these old pictures from lake nowhere in the air. Left eye smiling, right eye crying, this will never be the same again. I see a mother, I see a father. They are still here, they’re growing older. The ravages of time left their marks, but they already lived their lives. Nothing more to prove until the day they die. Where is my light heartedness from all these prior memories? I don’t wanna be left alone, I am afraid to carry all on my own. I put my arms around lake nowhere and I will never let it go. I can’t stop the circle and I can’t even slow it down.
2.
Old Hearts 02:49
I can’t keep pretending that I’m not losing track of life. These images have fallen off the wall. One step out in the rain, one single word to ease the pain. Please grant me absolution, please set me free from this disease (that) seems to be our grave. So patently, but so inevitably. I can hardly grasp that you never spoke a word, that I can’t read the sings. This is frustration, bitter humiliation that old hearts break in isolation. We save the ashes of those whose lonely graves we dug ages ago. A casket that we’ve filled with hope to get rid of these faults, to let finally go. Golden rings once sealed this oath to love and cherish for better or for worse. It was the worst. Suddenly I watched these shadows overwhelm me as you simply walked through the door while you were whispering. You whispered a couple of words ”I just don’t feel the same” was all I heard, but that’s what I deserved. We failed by a lack of words.
3.
Pipe Dream 03:07
Pipe Dream A pipe dream that I created, but it’s only dust that’s left. I tortured your aspiration, you payed the price of my fabrication. I can’t reject the hands of time, so just pass all the affliction for the anguish you had to bear. Seven months and all for nothing, seven months separated me from you. I’m feeling like a stranger now, an actor in this black tale. Epilogue: This is the end. That was then and this is now, let us skip a chapter. Welcome to our odyssey. This season will be over now. I’m guilty as charged, forget my name. Disconnect it in the dark and let us say goodbye. What goes around comes back around, that’s what you have been told every day. What goes around comes back around, but my adjudgement has been delivered. I move on with someone else.
4.
Resurrection 04:15
Resurrection It’s quite different and so new, but this time I will keep my cool. One million times that I have repent in all countless nights that I’ve spent. I spent it on my own, illuminating feelings to be here alone. With the back against the wall and my head in my hands, I fight against a slow decay. Our bodies are numb, but only my mind is weak, I’m considering that all my love is furnished with leaks. You were sitting next to me, but all I hold is this book full of memories. I must admit that I forgot, how sweet your smile has shined for me. I woke up, facing that we won’t sail to the horizon in front of eternity. From a lover to a sufferer, from the resurrection into a new beginning. I will take my chance to gain a plainer confidence.
5.
Sailor’s Grave How many times am I screaming, am I singing these songs again until another dream has been wasted away? So let us take this last night just to accomplish the purpose to build our legacy. We’re sailing further to the promised land to escape from the waves, lest we crash, but we’re slowing down, we leak. Anything under my feet is slipping away. Tonight I’ll go down with this ship, but from the depth sings a voice and I know that I’m shortly at home. I fed my bones to the sea, now solely the wind calls my name. The sun is rising up for a new day while the sky still whistles the songs that I once sang.
6.
Comfort In Solitude Inner disturbance is painting my day into the darkest grey. A dash of dust and fog attend me on my journey, guide me on this way. The security of my homeland will be left behind. Thoughts have changed me so far, now they are forsaking so fast without a fucking purpose. I don’t see, don’t hear, won’t feel anything. There’s space surrounding, I’ve lost all hope for the betterment. An abandoned place, fulfilled with peace, silent like the calmest ocean is pushing me away. On this foreign track, this is the first time I’m feeling free. I found my comfort in solitude. No one is by my side, I’ve just stopped to collapse. I found my comfort in solitude. A path of loneliness, so hard to walk.
7.
The Lost Age 02:46
The Lost Age My head keeps pounding and I know why, but I can’t step back anymore. Every morning I stare in the mirror and see that your clear eyes are looking right through me. You never have been satisfied, always tried to explain yourself, but sometimes you just pushed the things too rash and every word that was recalled scraped your knees again. Kneeling on the bottom of this hourglass because you missed the right point. Of course I know that I wrested your sense of time. And in all that mess you forgot to smile, but this song’s for you, it’s all for you. It’s still hard to let it be the way it is, but I learned to love so I keep moving. Everything just came undone and suddenly the scales fell from my eyes, you temporarily lost this age.
8.
Intervention 02:37
Intervention All the expectations braving, I am a sinner ain’t no saint. Just stopped in front of heavens gates and pushed back all compassion. Still reaching out my hands for the dried up riverbed of a lost youth. I’m taking back what has been stolen from my hands. Piecing together the tiny fragments of my memory, just to awaken the yesterdays. This world will never hold a place for me when I can’t live the person’s life who I was born to be. You numbed my feelings, my senses have been dulled and what you know, and what you see and what you speak has fucked me up. These hollow words from your mouths that spitting blood. The lights are dimming now, I slowly go astray and there is nothing I can do. Just the reflection of better days is the only thing that keeps me from passing by. Where there’s no heart, there is no home. I travelled through this world seeking for shelter just to endure the burden you put on my shoulders, but I was meant to search for something more. I was never meant to grow up.
9.
Home Truth 03:14
Home Truth I can’t explain how I felt then, as I remembered that it was you who had defeated me. What a bitter irony, we once couldn’t make it through the day without each other. I’d wish to say that I never loved you. Hand on my heart, I drowned, I sank to the ocean bed. I gasped for breath but I fainted. We were born naked while the gods watched over us. Too long I took it for granted, but now this paradise’s lost. I just believe the things I see and there ain’t no escape from reality. One wish to be spared from being poisoned of the cold hard truth that is freezing me. As god is my witness, I tried to hold on to each spark I held in my hand to relight a fire of a life that (already) expired. It’s like lifting the weight of the world for only a second and I can’t imagine any attraction. And finally it seems that I’m waking from this dream and slowly it’s emerging that I’ve given up on me. I pleaded the meaning of these words that I said to finally unlearn the things I regret. Still loving life.

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released May 27, 2011

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LASTING TRACES Mainz, Germany

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